The Power Tools for Life (batteries not included)

So when we last left The Road Less Traveled, we saw that the difficulties in life are there to help us forge enlightenment in the kiln of suffering. Some might find this to be reassuring -- and indeed it is nice to know that there is a reason for what seems to be a series of arbitrary misfortunes -- but we’re also now wondering what we can do to develop ourselves in those times when we’re facing unemployment, a spouse that deserts us, or a really nasty papercut.

Peck tells us there are four tools at our disposal...

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Therefore let us inculcate in ourselves and in our children the means of achieving mental and spiritual health. By this I mean let us teach ourselves and our children the necessity for suffering and the value thereof, the need to face problems directly and to experience the pain involved. I have stated that discipline is the basic set of tools we require to solve life's problems. It will be come clear that these tools are techniques of suffering, means by which we experience the pain of problems in such a way as to work them through and solve them successfully, learning and growing in the process. When we teach ourselves and our children discipline, we are teaching them and ourselves how to suffer and also how to grow.

What are these tools, these techniques of suffering, these means of experiencing the pain of problems constructively that I call discipline? There are four: delaying of gratification, acceptance of responsibility, dedication to truth, and balancing. As will be evident, these are... simple tools, and almost all children are adept in their use by the age of ten. Yet presidents and kings will often forget to use them, to their own downfall. The problem lies not in the complexity of these tools but in the will to use them. For they are tools with which pain is confronted rather than avoided, and if one seeks to avoid legitimate suffering, then one will avoid the use of these tools. Therefore, after analyzing each of these tools, we shall...examine the will to use them, which is love.

...So if your goal is to avoid pain and escape suffering, I would not advise you to seek higher levels of consciousness or spiritual evolution. First, you cannot achieve them without suffering, and second, insofar as you do achieve them, you are likely to be called on to serve in ways more painful to you, or at least demanding of you, than you can now imagine. Then why desire to evolve at all, you may ask. If you ask this question, perhaps you do not know enough of joy...

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So, the four simple tools of discipline we can wield in order to glean worth from our travails are:

1. delaying of gratification – “Delaying gratification is a process of scheduling the pain and pleasure of life in such a way as to enhance the pleasure by meeting and experiencing the pain first and getting it over with. It is the only decent way to live."

2. acceptance of responsibility – “The difficulty we have in accepting responsibility for our behavior lies in the desire to avoid the pain of the consequences of that behavior.” Accept responsibility for your duties, successes, and failings. At the same time, distinguish between that for which you are actually responsible, and that for which others attempt to make you responsible. For instance, don’t let marketing specialists define your responsibilities in life.

3. dedication to truth – "What does a life of total dedication to the truth mean? It means, first of all, a life of continuous and never-ending stringent self-examination...to know the world, we must not only examine it but we must simultaneously examine the examiner." Oh, and by the way: "The less clearly we see the reality of the world--the more our minds are befuddled by falsehood, misperceptions and illusions--the less able we will be to determine correct courses of action and make wise decisions." Don’t be befuddled.

4. balancing – “To be organized and efficient, to live wisely, we must daily delay gratification and keep an eye on the future; yet to live joyously we must also possess the capacity, when it is not destructive, to live in the present and act spontaneously. In other words, discipline itself must be disciplined.” Some dead Greek guy (yes, it was you, Hesiod; now sit back down) once said “Observe due measure, moderation is best in all things.” Taken absolutely literally, this means one must not indulge in excess, but even moderation must be moderated, and this occasional excess encourages sanity.

Peck then follows this description of the tools of enlightenment with a discussion on the quality that defines how we apply these tools. He calls this quality “Love.”

Love (not romantic love, which is mostly a selfish emotion) is about nurturing your own or another's spiritual growth. Love is an action and a decision, not just a feeling, and it requires hard work and courage. “If an act is not one of work or courage, then it is not an act of love. There are no exceptions. The principal form that the work of love takes is attention. When we love another we give him or her our attention; we attend to that's person's growth. When we love ourselves we attend to our own growth." So love isn’t buying flowers, baubles, or toys for one’s mate, nor does it mean buying your child every toy he or she wants; it’s ensuring your loved ones take the path and have the experiences that will help them grow. And that means allowing that person some independence, and not suffocating him or her (and, in turn, yourself) with a constant, adoring presence.

The book concludes with a discussion on Grace, the least developed section of the book. There are interesting thoughts present here, but nothing new. Those who have a bent towards New Age religion might be sympathetic to the ideas present, but, while I’m squishy, I’m not that squishy. Nevertheless, I appreciate his attempt to herald the fact that there IS something grander and greater out there -- something bigger than each of us individually.

So, we know life is difficult, we know it's not by accident, we know the four tools that can extract benefit for difficulty, we realize that we need to apply these tools to our lives and the lives of our loved ones, and we have an inkling that there is something greater than humanity running the show -- now what?

Well, for one, it's probably time to read some more books. More immediately, it's time to quit reading this balderdash, stop delaying your gratification, and go out there and live.

And don't forget that floss and sunscreen can help prevent some of life's difficulties. Not all difficulties are good, I'd wager.